Smiffy
by The Vampire's Missus
Summary: A day and a bit in the life of Sgt Smith. Dedicated to a certain 'lady' named Kym.
1. Chapter 1

Smiffy (Pt 1)

Sgt Dale Smith was not in a good mood, he was working different shifts to his beloved Kym. He had just looked over Insp. Gold's duty roster...and more bad news greeted him - he was paired with Nick Klein again. The relief had been short staffed with 'flu and also some injuries from the recent riots. This made the rostering tricky and even Gina herself was going out - she had teamed herself with Reg, _Poor bloke, what did he do to deserve that ?_ , thought Smiffy to himself...

He finished his coffee and checked over the new details of Promnoms: the Barrow brothers were at it again and some new Garaging outfit was starting to show muscle...another day in paradise.

He looked at the clock as he heard some of the relief coming past to the locker rooms. Some of them were cutting it a bit fine and he added _a bollocking for the late-__comers_ to his mental list. Insp. Gold was in the office opposite and Smiffy could see she was thinking the same thing...their eyes met and each knew what the other was thinking and both laughed. He gathered his papers and went to the briefing room to set up for the "morning prayers".

Eventually, the relief trickled in and sat down or stood around the room chatting. Gina entered and they all shut up, and Smiffy started the briefing. He handed out the fact sheets and went through the roster, allowing himself a smile when he reached the pairing of Reg and Gina, the rest of the team smiled and coughed down laughter on hearing this. Gina looked round and asked "What? More 'flu victims? Not if you know what's good for you!"

Smiffy remembered his mental list and looked at the late arrivals "Oh, and shift starts at 6 a.m. not 10 past. I want everyone ready on time so we can get out there and do what we're paid for, not lounging around the coffee machines or doing your nails. Clear? Now go on."

"Yes Sarge", chorused the relief.

Everyone ducked for the exits as fast as possible. Nick went to collect the car keys while Smiffy put the documents back in the Sgt's office.

A few minutes later, Smiffy strode down the gangway into the car park, "Ready?", he asked Nick who was lounging against the car.

"Just gotta finish doing my nails, Sarge." smiled Nick as he got in the driver's seat.

Smiffy shook his head,"Is this gonna be one of those days?", he asked with a sneer.

"No, probably not...", replied Nick as he saw the look on his Sarge's face, and drove off down the street.

Despite the early hour, the calls had started to come in and some were backed up. Smiffy told CAD that he and Nick would drive past the playground to see if Gina and Reg needed back up, then see if they could get to the burglary round the corner as quick as possible.

They drove down the street and pulled up to see smashed bottles, swings pulled out of their posts and Gina and Reg struggling with two kids each. They ran over and could hear the stream of abuse pouring from the little toe-rags mouths. Gina handed over one of her toe-rags and shouted for them to shut up. "Sod off Granny, is that your boyfriend?", one of the kids asked, nodding at Reg.

The other kid laughed and seemed only to know swear words, which he used to great effect. Smiffy roared at them "Keep your filthy little sewer mouths shut!", as he dragged the fourth kid away from the rest. The kid started kicking him and spat right in Smiffy's face. "That's it! I'm arresting you for assaulting a police officer...", the kid's only reply was to kick Smiffy again, this time a bit higher than the shins. He clutched himself with one hand and snarled.

Nick quickly cuffed the kid and made him kneel on the ground,"You ok, Sarge?", he asked.

Smiffy's face was like thunder, "I will be when I've finished with this little---", he trailled off.

The radio crackled as Dean's voice came through, "54 from Sierra Oscar. Sarge, you free to talk?" Smiffy nodded to Nick to take it, and Nick walked away to answer.

Meanwhile Gina was calling Tony for the van to pick up the kids. Reg was trying to get names from the boys, but they still acted up. They were fearless and acted like they owned the entire city.

Nick returned to Smiffy and told him that the burglary victim was still waiting and had called back twice. The burglary was 'cold' but the victim was angry and scared.

Smiffy sighed and told Nick, "Look, we have to wait for the van, then we can go. The burglar's long gone. It can wait."

Nick nodded in understanding and spoke to the gutter-mouth, "You're Alec Watson's brother aren't you? I recognise the attitude and the red hair." The kid looked panick-stricken at this and muttered a half-hearted reply.

Smiffy smiled at the change in the kid and asked, "Sorry, was that a Yes? Good, we'll be able to get your parents in for a nice chat now!" The kid looked like he was going to pass out at this suggestion and it had a similar effect on the other boys. Smiffy unlocked the handcuffs and handed them back to Nick, "Don't think they'll be much more trouble, now Ma'am."

Gina was pleased at the miraculous change in the air, "Aha, is that birdsong I hear? Makes a change from mouthy little scroats. Tony'll be here soon, you two go off to that burglary, quick as you can."

Smiffy and Nick went back to the car and off to the burglary, Dean called again,"Sarge that burglary has called back. She's on now and she's getting very stroppy, mentioned making a complaint?"

Smiffy answered, "Look tell her we areone minute away, if that doesn't make her happy, nothing will!"

Nick glanced across and said, "She's had a shock, Smiffy, of course she's gonna be upset."

Smiffy snapped, "Just drive... and it's _Sgt _Smiffy!"

Nick sighed, shut up and just drove.

They turned the corner and went to the house which was in a well-kept, fairly affluent area. Mrs. Agee was waiting at the door, red eyed and agitated. She beckoned the two officers inside and showed them the damage done. Apart from the usual household goods taken, the burglar(s) had entertained themselves by eating the food in the kitchen, drinking the alcohol and vandalising the house. Chairs were slashed and the bedroom had it's furnishings trashed. In the bath was solid evidence that the burglar had completely missed the toilet...

Smiffy saw why the woman was so upset, burglary was one thing, trashing a place was even worse..but this went beyond that. He shook his head in disgust...all this and it was barely nine...this was not a good start to a day. He couldn't wait for it to finish and he could see Kym, even if it were only to be for a few minutes before her shift started. "Right, Mrs. Agee...", he started.


	2. Chapter 2

Smiffy (Part 2)

It was shaping up to be another rainy, grotty day as Smiffy and Nick finished at Mrs. Agee's house. The SOCO had taken a sample from the deposit in the bath tub to be DNA tested...not a pleasant task, but she was professional about it and commented that as a mother, this was par for the course with babies. Smiffy retorted that babies don't burgle houses and trash the place deliberately.

Next stop was a call on all the neighbours, but this proved fruitless. People were at work, or didn't hear or see anything suspicious. Smiffy surmised that the burglars had driven into the garage and loaded up their vehicle in there, away from prying eyes.

Another call came in from CAD, "Sierra Oscar to all units, accident reported on Barlowe Road, ambulance on way...any units deal?" Smiffy nodded to Nick and they ran to the panda as Smiffy responded to the call.  
Nick said "Should be there in 2 minutes, Sarge, if we take Farmer's Way", as he turned on the blues and twos and reversed down the road to the corner. 

They made it in one minute and quickly set to work. Two cars had been in a head-on collision on the slippery wet road. Smiffy saw 3 injured, one seriously. He quickly checked the others were conscious and set to work on the unconscious woman. Nick hovered behind Smiffy, on the radio requesting back up and an ETA for the ambuances whilst trying to assess the two other injured and trying to keep the crowd of onlookers at bay. A woman walked up to Nick and told them she was a nurse and knelt down next to Smiffy. Nick checked on the other two injured people, but they had only minor wounds and shock. Some shoppers sat down with the wounded people to look after them. Nick went over to Smiffy and the nurse, who was performing CPR on the badly wounded woman. Smiffy gave Nick a look of worry and then went back to helping the nurse. Gary and Yvonne arrived and Nick told them to help clear the traffic. Nick got the names and details of the injured, then found the woman's handbag. As sirens filled the air, Smiffy and Nick exchanged looks of relief. The paramedics set to work, managing to stabilise the woman and gently set her inside the ambulance. Smiffy told Nick to clear up at the scene whilst he went in the ambulance. Nick gave Smiffy the woman's bag. The ambulance then sped off, the second ambulance moved off with the other injured people. Nick walked over to Yvonne and Gary and asked them to talk to the witnesses.

In the ambulance, Smiffy sat and watched the paramedic checking over the woman. He looked inside the woman's bag for her details. Keys on a novelty keyring, makeup, pen, diary, tissues, sweet wrappers, tampons, mobile phone - a woman's life in a handbag. He found her driver's licence - Karen Wood. She was young and Smiffy was disturbed to see she looked a lot like Kym, he hadn't noticed before because of the blood...he imagined Kym being in an accident and saw her face...he shook his head in annoyance at himself. "Don't think things like that!"

The paramedic was watching the cardiograph display and shouted to the driver "Hurry up if you can, I don't like the look of this!" Smiffy didn't like the sound of this and looked at the machines, but they were all gobbledygook to him.

As the ambulance pulled up to the emergency doors, he started helping with the trolley and the para's wheeled the woman off down the corridor. Smiffy was left with the nurse who was waiting for the details. He gave her the handbag and told her what he knew. Then he was left to wait. He went to the coffee machine and pulled out some coins. The machine poured out a stream of brownish liquid which could have been coffee, tea or oxtail soup for all he could tell. He sipped and grimaced, "God, Nick's been making the coffee for this place an' all", he muttered...

Some time later, Smiffy saw a middle-aged couple come into the ward and he heard the name Wood mentioned. The nurse's eyes met Smiffy's as she told them about the accident. Smiffy stood up and walked over to them, "Hello, I'm Sgt. Smith from Sun Hill. I was with Karen at the crash...I really hope she'll be okay..."

Mrs. Wood smiled weakly, "Thank you for looking after her."

Smiffy shook his head and replied, "No, there was a nurse there, she did all the work. I just helped a bit..." Then the nurse took them away and he sat back down.

Later on, Nick walked in. He asked about the woman.

"As far as I know, she's critical but they're hopeful...", Smiffy replied, then bit his tongue as he saw Karen's parents walk through the door in tears. He and Nick exchanged a sad look and they got up and approached the couple.

The doctor gave the two officers that universal look of of _I'm sorry_ and Smiffy said to the parents, "We're so sorry Mr. and Mrs. Wood. Can we take you home?" They shook their heads and said they had papers to sign and they'd get a lift from a friend later.

Mrs. Wood looked at Smiffy and Nick and smiled sadly, "Karen had a donor's card. They're going to use her death to save others' lives. I can't think of a better way to sum up Karen. She always thought of how she could help other people..."

As the couple moved off, Smiffy and Nick looked at each other. Smiffy asked Nick, "Would you ever do that? Donate organs?"

"Yeah, I've got one of those cards...", Nick replied.

Smiffy gazed in astonishment "I never thought about it, reckon I will now..."

Nick smiled at him, "In another time and place I'd have some smart-arsed comment to make about brain transplants...but I won't say it now..."

Smiffy replied, "Yeah so would I, but it isn't the place, so let's get back to work."

By now it was time for refs, so they went to the shopping arcade rather than all the way back to the station. They sat in silence, eating. Smiffy suddenly shot upright in his chair and smiled. Nick was surprised, "A smile fom Smiffy...must be a leap year!"

Smiffy got up, as he went past he elbowed Nick in the side of the head. "See ya later, monkey boy..."

Nick turned around to see where Smiffy was going, and smiled too.

Smiffy was wrapped in the arms of Kym, her shopping bags strewn on the floor and shoppers milling around, smiling and laughing at the kissing couple.

End of Part 2


	3. Chapter 3

Smiffy (Part 3)

After finally realising that they were the centre of attraction, Smiffy sheepishly uncoiled himself from Kym and helped pick up her bags. They returned to the table and Nick smiled, "It's nice to have a bit of cabaret, eh Kym?'

Kym laughed and said, 'Yeah, well we're saving the full-on stuff for the late show.."

Smiffy blushed in embarressment, but smiled. He was never one for obvious displays of affection in public, but occasionally someone was able to slip under his radar and bring out these characteristics in him.

Kym sat down on Smiffy's lap and started eating his chips, prompting a mock annoyed "Oi!" from him and a half-hearted attempt to dislodge her. Kym just help up a single chip in front of him in a rude gesture.

Nick was enjoying this, but asked, "Do you two want to be alone? I know we're in a crowded shopping mall, but would you like a bit of privacy?"

The couple shook their heads, Smiffy said "Nah, you're alright. Finish lunch, we've only got another few minutes, though..."

Kym made a pouty face at this, and said, "Maybe you should take the afternoon off...have a bout of 'food poisoning', mmm?", as she waved another chip in his face.

Smiffy ate the chip from her hand and smiled, "Gary tried that one when we were out the other week, but I talked him out of it by threatening to flush his head down the bog."

Kym exchanged a look with Nick, and said "You are evil, you know that?"

Smiffy shrugged and replied, "Yeah!"

The three of them then set about finishing the food, and Nick cleaned up the rubbish while Smiffy picked up Kym's bags. They went to the car and helped Kym load it up, then Nick said he'd go and wait in the panda and waved goodbye, wriggling his fingers.

Smiffy and Kym stood at their car and kissed and cuddled for a minute. Smiffy nuzzled his face in her hair and said, "You've been putting perfume in your hair, I like it...it's nice."

"Nice, eh? Very imaginative!", Kym laughed.

"Alright then: evocative, sensual, gorgeous, delicious...", Smiffy retorted.

"That's better, Sgt. Smith!", said Kym.

Smiffy checked his watch, made a pained expression and said, "Look, I really got to get back on patrol. I gave the late-comers a bollocking this morning and I don't want to be a hypocrite..."

Kym sighed and said, "Go on then, Mr Anal Retentive! I might get to see you when I come in to work later, hmm?". She gave him a last long kiss and got in the car. Smiffy gave her a wriggly fingered wave as she drove off with a big smile on her face. Smiffy had a smile to match.

He was still smiling as he got to the car, "My turn to drive!", he said to Nick, as he made a sweeping gesture with his hands. Nick got out and went around to the passenger side as Smiffy adjusted the driver's seat to his taller frame, "God, I don't know how you can see out the window, you little shrimp. How do your feet reach the pedals?"

Nick made a face at Smiffy and retorted, "Maybe we need a sunroof, so you can stick your head out the top...anyway, be glad you're not with Gary!"

"Yeah, he needs a kiddie's booster seat and blocks on his feet!", Smiffy smiled evilly.

He started the engine and drove out the car park.

They drove down the road and saw an old woman waving at them. Smiffy pulled over, and Nick wound down his window to talk to her, "Yes, madam. How can we help?"

The woman said, "This must sound funny, but my cat's stuck up that tree..."

They looked up and there was indeed a fluffy, fat white cat glaring back at them from a tree. Smiffy gave Nick a sigh and rolled his eyes and Nick bit his lip to keep from laughing. They got out the car and walked to the tree.

The cat was quite high in the tree and Smiffy swore under his breath. He said, "Nick, that tree is too flimsy to take my weight, you can climb it and get the moggy."

Nick looked at Smiffy and swore under his breath. Then he turned to the woman and asked, "Why not get a tin of cat food and tap the tin with a spoon? Works every time!"

The woman looked doubtful and replied, "Are you sure? What flavour?"

Smiffy laughed and Nick smiled at her, "Doesn't matter,could be a tin of baked beans...it's the sound that matters."

The woman walked off and Smiffy laughed again, "Don't wanna feed that thing up there baked beans, it'll fart in your face when you try and get it!"

Nick replied, "Don't worry, I won't have to get it, it'll come down at the thought of a feed."

The woman returned and they all stood under the tree as the tin was tapped. The woman called out, "Tinkerbell, come on sweety, din-dins! Tinkerbell."

Smiffy coughed down a laugh at the name, while Nick bit his lip again.

The cat was still up in the tree and not even a feed was tempting to it. The woman looked pleadingly at Smiffy, Smiffy looked down smirking at Nick, and Nick sighed and looked up at the cat.

He gave Smiffy a dirty look and started climbing. He slowly got to the cat's level and softly said, "C'mon Tinkerbell. Come here..." The cat seemed interested in it's new friend and started purring. Nick slowly brought a hand forward and softly clicked his fingers, the cat started to slink along the branch to him and rubbed its face along the outstretched hand. Nick slowly stroked the cat, then picked it up. He climbed back down and handed over the cat, smiling at the old lady, then shooting another black look at Smiffy, who smirked again, "Ever thought of being a lion tamer, Nick?"

The woman thanked them warmly and invited them in for tea. Smiffy declined the invitation and pulled Nick over to the car, "Nice one, you've got cat hairs all over you now."

It was quiet for about 10 minutes, then Dean called through from CAD. "Sierra Oscar to all units...disturbance at Old Bull Inn...any units deal?"

Smiffy nodded at Nick, who responded, and Gary and Yvonne also called in. Smiffy put on the siren and sped up slightly. The streets were crowded, but amazingly enough all the drivers had learnt their lessons about pulling over to the left when a siren approaches. Smiffy had a clear path and drove down the street, shoppers gawping in the hope of seeing something going on.

At the pub, a lunch-time brawl had erupted. Chairs were flying out the door and pool cues were being used on unsuspecting heads. Tony and Ruby had also arrived, and eveyone got behind Smiffy as he strode into the pub and shouted, "Right pack it in, or you're nicked!" One or two of the less drunk fighters stopped and decided to leave by the back door, but the others continued. The officers got stuck in and plucked the brawlers off each other like bananas.

Gary was having a hard time, so Yvonne stalked over and grabbed the drunkard and yelled, "That's enough, plonker!" She helped Gary up with the other hand and smiled at him as he cuffed the man and dragged him of to the van.

Meanwhile, one of the brawlers had grabbed pool balls and was throwing them. Smiffy ducked as a cue ball zoomed passed his ear, "Oi! Drop the balls!", Smiffy yelled, as a red one whizzed by. He flicked out his ASP and used a table as a shield, Tony had the same idea and was moving in from the other side. They both reached the man as he launched the black 8 ball and pounced, knocking him flat. They grabbed the man and Tony kneeled on the thug's back as Smiffy cuffed him. They picked him up and surveyed the damage.

The ball had hit Nick in the chest and he was sitting on the floor being held by Ruby, who had a hand on his chest. Yvonne and Gary had grabbed the man Nick had been fighting with and had dragged him away.

Smiffy went over and kneeled beside Ruby and Nick. "Are you okay?", Nick nodded, but didn't speak. Ruby said, "I've called an ambulance just in case, he's badly winded, but I don't think there's anything broken."

Smiffy told Ruby to wait with Nick whilst he sorted out the arrests down at the station. The drunks were more subdued now and sat miserably, waiting to be processed. Smiffy glared in contempt at the man with the balls. The man just stared back blankly. After leaving Custody, Smiffy went to his office and stared at the mountain of paperwork he had to catch up on. He dourly started on the documents and waited for Ruby to call.

After the 5th report, he sighed and caught sight of Cameron walking past, "Got a job for you, Cam..", Cam smiled and waited.

Smiffy said ,"Coffee, low-fat milk, 1 sugar...".

Cam sighed and said, "Yes, Sarge..." and walked off.

When Smiffy had his coffee, Ruby rang with the good news, "Nothing broken, just a nasty bruised rib, Nick should be able to come back in tomorrow." Smiffy smiled and thanked her, and asked her to do him a favour.

It was nearly change of shift time and Smiffy looked down the corridor, he was rewarded by the sight of Kym turning a corner and heading for the locker room. He slinked down to join her...

Next morning, everyone was early and ready as Smiffy started parade. He gave out details on the new Pronoms and went through the duty roster. Then he picked up some papers, "Right, some of you may already be in this scheme, but for those who aren't...these are for the National Donor Registry. There are thousands of people waiting for transplants, and hardly any donors. It'll save a lot of grief if someone dies and a doctor doesn't have to ask the relatives to think about signing consent forms. So take one and think about it, please."

He handed over the stack and it was passed along.

"Oh, one more thing before you go...you probably heard about the fracas at the Old Bull Inn. Well, Nick took a bit of a pounding, so I'd like to present him with this as a token of our appreciation..", he handed Nick a wrapped box. Nick opened it a smiled as he held up a Magic 8-ball for everyone to see. ...

The End


End file.
